Matrix

All the days of thinking about what the purpose of life was led her to this one point of realising that what she truly wanted seemed almost impossible. To step out of the matrix, to be truly free. The concept seemed as if it came from a movie, however her reality was the movie. This simulation we all walk in. How do you crack the right codes to step out of the storyline thats been pre-written for each of us. She wanted to re-write her future. A world without rules, without restrictions. Where she couldn’t be found online, or in a system. A world where she lived freely among the natural wonders of the earth. How hard and how long should you fight for true freedom.
Is a whole life spent fighting against the system truly living? Are we ever truly living unless we break free.

Blood Moon, Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius

So what exactly does this blood moon mean for us little specs of energy running around on an even bigger ball of massive energy? I’m gonna cut out all the spiritual mumbo jumbo because in reality there’s nothing spiritual about what’s happening. A lunar eclipse occurs when the earth passes between the sun and the moon, blocking the suns light which casts the red light upon the moon!!!

We’re about to experience the longest Lunar eclipse this century. The last time I saw a blood moon I was sitting on the beach in Honolulu and tonight I will make sure it’s just as magic as last time. I’ll be sitting in the middle of a forest soaking up all the goodness of this earth, nature, the sky, the heavens and any energy that finds its way to me.

The moon will be TOTALLY eclipsed for 1 hour and 43 minutes –  the partial eclipse will start at 4:24am – total eclipse at 5:33am – maximum eclipse at 6:22am – and it will end at 7:22am (Melbourne times)

Sticking to science for another second, make sure you look slightly up to the left of the moon and you can expect to see Mars shining super bright and we get to watch a little dance between the two. Don’t miss the show – MAKE THE EFFORT TO GET UP AND WATCH OUR BEAUTIFUL SOLAR SYSTEM PERFORM FOR US. In true Leo spirit. This is the month of flair and flamboyance.

This blood moon falls under the sign of Aquarius. Aquarius is the sign of true humanitarianism. This is the time to manifest all those thoughts about revolutions, massive changes, spreading more love and light into the world while remembering to be playful, and focus less on romance but more on yourself and love for the greater good. This is a selfless sign. Sometimes a little bit to aloof if you ask me but when it comes down to it you want an Aquarius close to you. They’re probably a little bit smarter than you and you can be sure the choices they make are always made with the highest morals.

This is a time to live and let live, let your freak fly and truly let the world see who you are. Let us love what it is about yourself that you love. Show us that side. Be brave, be bold. Don’t think about things that stress you out. Take a break from stressing about a relationship, an un-requited love, don’t think about your work stress don’t think about anything that doesn’t make you feel good. Every time you think about something that makes you feel bad, replace the thought with this one, “I feel sad because I am in fact a banana.”

Do me a favour fellow earthlings and use this time to fill your brain with the idea of  A BETTER WORLD, A UTOPIA OF EVERYTHING WE DESERVE. IMAGINE ALIENS FINALLY  (surely they’re already here I don’t buy that they haven’t come yet) COMING TO EARTH AND GIVE US THE SECRETS TO A HAPPY WAR FREE, HATE FREE WORLD. I don’t care how dumb it is just make it full of love. Let’s all harness this energy for greatness so I don’t have to go and live in a cult in the middle of nowhere because the rest of the world has finally caught up and become as enlightened as we need them to be.

Fun fact- This eclipse also has a little numerology easter egg for us! The number 444.

This represents a time when your intuition and your connection to the angels and the angelic realm is the strongest. This is a message from the divine to tell us that we have nothing to fear and we’re on the right path. So keep on keeping on. If that isn’t a cuddle from the universe reminding us of its love, I don’t know what is.

Don’t forget it’s still Leo month which means you should have let go of all the feeling and emotion you worked through last month, and use this time now to celebrate yourself, your life, and keep working at what you want to achieve for yourself. Believe in yourself like you never have before.

Also don’t worry about Mercury Retrogade. Basically it just means the planets are moving a little bit differently. Usually they go west to east through the stars at night but for some reason (magic) they change at certain times of the year (now) and go east-west. When it hits retrogade time it just seems as if the planets are moving in an opposite direction. So basically because of this weird occurence in Astrology it is advised to hold off on starting new relationships, buying a new car/house, starting a business or a new job etc. But if any retrogade can be beaten by our own will power, it’s the one that starts in the season of the lion. In saying that though. Be very careful with your words as most of us will be a little more outspoken than usual. Try and fill every word with compassion and love and be a little bit more dilligent in holding your tongue. This is a time of very high ego and very high energy, so let’s all be a little bit nicer to each other 🙂

Any witches reading this – I found a nice ritual so send me a message and I can share that with you

xx

because if this is it, then at least we can end it right

I could probably just fill this whole post with instagram memes just so I can truly capture the essence of what exactly it’s like being single in todays modern hook up culture.

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First off – hold this in your thoughts. Why would you go into a relationship thinking ‘yes this is going to work out perfectly’ when for most of us our previous experiences have shown us that it does not in fact work out each time, hence why you are single, and why you find yourself repeating the same pattern with different faces.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing though is it? Why do we not hold merit to how passionately we can love someone in such a short time, or remember how magical the journey we had together was, even if it was just for a short time, and even if it ended.
Why give power to the bad energy which only made about 10% of the relationship than focus on the good 90% of energy you have surrounding this part of your story.
We always tell the stories when the romances end, we only describe in detail what went wrong, and how badly it made us feel.
Why are we forgetting about all the times that it made us feel good, why is this never the focus?
It’s like we all want to brag about our hurt, our pain and our suffering (although I do admit, there’s no bonding like 2 people sharing the same suffering, the most human feeling we have is to connect to each other.)
If everyone was comfortable with themselves, relationships probably wouldn’t end badly. If people who felt lonely actually dealt with that themselves and learnt to fill their own loneliness by loving themselves – they then wouldn’t be drawn to people who are full of self love. Meeting these people hinders your own personal growth. Your power is valuable to you, hold on to it and don’t let someone who hasn’t done any work on themselves try to take that from you. Don’t share it, don’t even sprinkle it around. HOLD ON TO EVERY OUNCE OF THAT ENERGY and save it for the people that will create an even bigger energy with you, for you.

You deserve it

If perfects what you’re searching for then just stay the same

I wrote this the day before I shaved my hair off, and I don’t want anyone to think I’m making a big deal out of it because I know it really isn’t that big of a deal, however, I’ve had some interesting conversations and received some interesting questions so I may as well share this and make my thoughts public in the hope that the things I say promote positivity because in the end that’s the only thing that’s important.

Be kind to one another.

Friday 11th May

I feel like I’ve already broken up with my hair to be honest. It doesn’t make me feel beautiful, I don’t feel like I’m using it to hide imperfections – half the time it annoys me and I try to tie it so it’s barely visible anyway, or its underneath a wig. So really, what is stopping me from shaving it off?

Is it because I know this isn’t a ‘normal’ thing to do, women aren’t supposed to be bald? Men are walking around with buns, braids, and longer hair than me most of the time. Is this just another double standard within society? Is it just that women are meant to comply with beauty standards from magazines? Surely we’ve moved well past that by now.

In my own personal reality I can’t imagine something like this being perceived negatively at all, everyone is so open, however I am also aware that I forget that people have different opinions outside of my circle.
But realistically why am I not doing it?

-boys won’t think it’s cute? Who cares
-it might actually just not look good, but who cares?
-people might think I’m an angry feminist (they’re right, I am)
But honestly, since going through this experience I have actually become so much less angry, the last few months for me have consisted of me removing any anger and changing my perception, and now I’m the happiest little egg in all the lands.

Let me tell you why I do want to do it though –

I’d like to spend my life doing something that matters, making a difference and encouraging positive change within whatever community I find myself in. I want to teach girls that however they are; however they represent being a woman, is PERFECT. They don’t need to change anything, society needs to change and I want to keep fighting that until the day I die (just like I want to keep arguing the fight against capitalism, until my fucking tongue falls out)

I want to be the kind of feminist that not only talks the talk, I want to walk the walk. I want to be taken seriously, and I want everyone to understand HOW and WHY it’s so important for me to keep fighting, for every single woman around the world who doesn’t have the freedom to fight against oppression, I want to fight for her.

I also really want to teach myself, now, before I’m 30. That how we look doesn’t really matter, it shouldn’t really matter. I don’t want to be one of those instagram girls who spends all day eating food that doesn’t taste that good or even fills me up and then spends the next day working out and working off whatever I did or didn’t eat. Rather than trying to change and motivate myself to ‘fix’ things on my body, why don’t I work twice as hard on actually just ACCEPTING my face and my body and learning to love myself for my own perfect individuality. Why isn’t that the norm? I spent all of my school life thinking I was ugly because people bullied me about having a big nose. I don’t even think thats an unusual thing to have, everyone has different sized noses. I told myself I wouldn’t shave my hair until I got a nose job, but you know what, I’m not going to be a pussy and I’m going to jump right into the deep end and force myself to learn the most important lesson, once and for all.

How other people perceive you is not an accurate representation of who you are. 


How you love and see yourself, is.

(the next part, if not obvious – I wrote straight after I buzzed all my locks off)

Saturday 12th May

Alright, I can now confirm how I feel without my hair.
SO FUCKING FREEEEEEEEEE and beautiful. You want to get real with your face? Shave your hair off. I feel like I actually saw myself for the first time – I looked at myself feeling more beautiful than I ever have when I’ve had a full face of makeup on. Fucking jackpot. It’s really made me think about why I did a lot of things in the past, why did how I look govern whether or not I was going to have a good time? How come that’s something I hear my friends so often say? Do you have to look good to feel good or do you have to feel good to look good. I find it unfortunate to know that most of my peers let how others see them dictate their own self love and that breaks my heart. I wish you could all feel as beautiful as you are.

you did a number on me, but honestly baby whose counting

Alright, we are back on.

This weekend I experienced the biggest ‘fuck-you festival’ of my entire life. The ticket came to me spontaneously, and for free, and I thought, take this opportunity to vibrate your energy out into the world and see what comes back at you. Learn some lessons, and work on some self growth. I definitely grew as a person, and I’ll break down the series of events that happened to me, to get me to my best ever, self loving state of mind. (but Shenin, you already loved yourself so much, how could you love yourself anymore?) That was possible, it’s happened, and I’ve finally, well and truly come out of the other side.

I used to think that in order to be successful, you had to surround yourself with successful people. I used to think that to be on a path of creativity, you had to be surrounded by creative people. When I used to hear the phrase “Happiness is only real when shared with others.” My perception of that quote meant that someone who was important in your life, had to share an experience with you, and that experience created happiness, within yourselves. Within both of you, because it was a shared experience. So there were times when I experience great moments, but because I believed that I needed someone with me to also experience it, it would take away from how special that moment was. Over time I have come to realise that the same quote does not mean that to me anymore. When I read that now, I hear “When you spread happiness to others, happiness will come back to you.” Agree or don’t agree, thats fine, but the fact that a sentence has completely changed its meaning to me without any words changing at all, proves to me, that everything that is going to continue happening in my life, is going to be altered by my own perception. That’s some pretty powerful shit.

I’ve always believed that you don’t need another individual to complete you, and I went away with the mentality that I would meet some people who also felt like that. However, even the people I did meet, who have probably changed my life forever, all had a significant other. Was the rest of the world wrong? Or am I wrong. Why am I looking for validation from other people to tell me what I already feel though. Maybe the reason I’ve been feeling lonely is because I’m taking love away from myself and looking for someone else to give it to.

Don’t we all know that as soon as we give our happiness to someone else we’re taking a massive risk to feel pain when the good stuff is over. Anytime I tell someone I might not want children, I get some lecture as if I’m some naive brat who is too stupid to understand that that’s just the way life works. Having a child will be the most beautiful experience on this planet. Do you know what else rocks. Lying in bed at night knowing I don’t have a child out in this world who could be getting raped, or drugged, or maybe my child will be the rapist? Who knows. Not me, because I don’t want my reality to function on other people, and I don’t want to be questioned about it all the time. I choose happiness, my own happiness. If that’s selfish, I am okay with that, because I know the fact that I have this much love for myself is something I am proud of. I won’t spend a lifetime dating the wrong people, I won’t spend my lifetime in a marriage that’s loveless, I won’t have a lifetime of sorrow and sadness because society tells me that’s the way it should be. There’s nothing wrong with wanting control of your life. You are a living organism and you deserve to become full of all the energies that YOU want your life to be filled with.

Alright that was a big tangent, I’m just getting sick of the answer to everything just being “omg get a bf ur life will be so good when he’s the right one, you’ll know” shut up. Why do you have to wait for a girlfriend to move to another country? Why don’t you work on your own fears and conquer them. As an example.

So for a few months I was feeling like a lonely potato, and you know what, I couldn’t get anyone to vibrate into my space to help me fill that void. A drunken conversation with someone from the past (who only has positive space in my heart) sparked this feeling, because sometimes, life sucks and thats okay. Anyway, a few weeks ago I decided to stop, think about what I’m feeling and accept that it’s just wasted energy and I did not need to be feeling like this. So many other things brought me joy. Since then, I’ve been constantly rejecting way too many people for my liking. It’s as if guys see a sign on my forehead saying “I’m emotionally unavailable to you because I love myself” and they read it as “I’m happy but wanna get into my pussy and fuck with my emotions for fun for a little bit”

Its a cruel joke. But for the first time, ever actually, I held onto my integrity, and the reactions I got, blew me away. I felt respect and understanding and my fear of my honesty making people think differently of me, just didn’t exist, and it worked out even better than I ever thought it could. All because I was true to myself. Everyone is different, and everyone is going to continue to change, and all of these thoughts are only relevant to right now, but why focus on what my thoughts should be when who knows if my re-collection of the past is even real, I have no proof it happened, its a small memory in my head, and I definitely can’t know what my future self is going to feel because I don’t know where she’s going to be other than knowing where I am right now in this moment.

I feel grateful to finally have learnt, and understood, that I don’t need anybody else to get me to a point in my life that’s going to be better than right now, it’s all me, and that’s fucking fabulous.

 

If you spend all day putting words together you can make anything sound bad

Trust me.

I’m angrier at me than you are for not writing in such a long time. It’s absolutely disgusting behaviour on my end, who do I think I am.

You’re probably thinking, Shenin has a boyfriend now, she doesn’t have anything to write about anymore, no weird one night stands, no boys fucking her over, she isn’t travelling anymore. Holy shit, she’s so boring.

I suppose in a sense you are sort of right. I don’t have much to complain about in terms of bitching blog posts about cunts who fuck me over. I still have plenty to say though, my mind has never worked in more over-time than it has over the last 12 months. This is also the fastest time has ever moved within my reality. There aren’t enough 50 bags of keta in the world to slow down how fast my life has moved recently, BUT all that aside, I am still here, I am still as opinionated as always, and I am still, if not more so, so incredibly lost in this world than I ever have been.

I sort of just took this time away from writing for myself because sometimes even I believed the stories I was telling and I sort of confused myself from reality and my own fiction, that my own head was making up. I needed some time to reflect on the kind of person that I actually was, rather than the kind of person that I was making myself become. I can’t say that I’ve fully figured that out yet but what I can say is that I’ve figured out things I like, and things I do not like. I’ve decided that it’s important to know that, and it’s important to stand your ground and not have people around you who do things you do not like. Those things are negative and with that energy you will lead a negative life and that isn’t very much fun.

Unfortunately for you (whoever is reading this, robot, man, woman, child, alien, etc) I have so many thoughts I now am ready to put back out there again, if not for you (it’s not for you at all it’s for me) then mostly for me, because if I don’t write this down I’m going to most likely go insane and when sometimes people respond to what I write and tell me they also relate it makes me feel slightly less crazy and keeps me grounded to this earth we inhabit with all my other human counterparts.

 

Part 1

 

 

you hold your world in your hands

I can guarantee, that if you told me a story about my life, where it is right now and how I feel every single day now, round about mid-last year, literally, not a single molecule in my body would’ve believed you.

I’ve felt pain like I’ve never felt, jealousy like I’ve never felt, but also in some bizarre way, I feel paroxysms of love I never imagined possible. Everything about life and the way we choose to live, I now see differently and as great as that is, I now also know how much more this is going to continue changing, until the end of my life.

For the first time I also feel a comforting level of acceptance.

Take this post as a gentle reminder that how you are feeling now is temporary, you hold the power to guide in your life in a direction you deem to be full of happiness and success. Make good choices.

 

 

 

are you insane like me, been in pain like me

We live in a world where happiness is manufactured by whatever is currently around us. That could range from material possessions, where it is you currently are at that time, or what people you’re surrounded by. I find it quite interesting how much energy people put into trying to be happy, but their idea of happiness is so completely skewed by social constructs that all they’re doing is putting themselves through endless suffering.

 

Something that I find the most interesting about humans is why it takes some of us so incredibly long to truly understand what happiness is. How many of you know someone close to you who only started being true to themselves and pushing the limits of their reality once something bad happened in their life. Whether a marriage ended, they were diagnosed with an illness, or someone close to them died. Only then do they make the change to live life for them and chase happiness in a way they can ultimately, for the first time ever, catch it, and hang on to it.

 

I refuse to be that person. I refuse to be someone who waits my whole life, or waits for something to absolutely break me and question everything I know to find happiness. I choose to be happy now. You’re aura of happiness radiates by the people you surround yourself with, whether you want to admit it or not. This can be a workplace, a university class, your close friends from high school who you’ve just grown apart from or even your family. I find this one the hardest to grasp because family is forever and you shouldn’t want to cut ties with your parents. However, if they only bring negativity into your life you have to make a decision, maybe spend less time around them, or if that isn’t possible you have to change the way you interact with them.

 

Everything in our lives can be controlled by us. We have total control of how we let our emotions affect current situations in our life and we have total control on who we let influence the joys in our life. Start the journey now, don’t wait. Find your ego and understand how it controls you. How does it affect what happens in your life, how many decisions have you let it make for you in your life. Get this in control and then the rest of your life is easy. You’re no longer being controlled by social constructs and ideas, or letting other peoples ideas of you guide your life and your decisions. It’s all on you, and that’s terrifying to some people because now maybe for the first time in your life you’re completely accountable for your actions, there is nobody else to blame. I can assure you, once you understand how to manipulate your ego for your personal gain, things like this won’t bother you. You won’t feel any shame or any regret. You will understand and be proud of the decision you have made and with this you will continue on with a successful life. A step back is only a negative if you let it be.

 

Once we all understand that other peoples perceptions of us does not define us at all, then we can all start understanding happiness within ourselves. You’re allowing someone else to control you, you become a puppet, your emotions get used against you and what you think is happiness, is manufactured by someone else. Not by you.

 

Everyone is so scared of getting to know themselves, and to understand themselves and I’m sure there’s a reason it’s so terrifying for most people, what’s more human than to feel the emotions we feel. I take drastic steps to ensure my happiness. After a bad break up, I didn’t just move on, I moved 25 hours away to the other side of the country. I am so incredibly empathic that instead of just not reading articles I haven’t watched the news, or read a newspaper in years. I deleted facebook because I couldn’t go a day without reading something that made my cry. I don’t think this is right, avoidance of reality is probably not the healthiest way to be happy but I choose happiness.

 

I choose to be happy so I block out things that affect me negatively. I listen to music that makes me happy, I watch TV shows and movies that make me happy. The world is literally so awful that all I can do is focus on the kindness and genuine love in the world and if you start looking for it you will start seeing it everyday.

 

There are people out there with the same mindset. They’re the people letting you into their lane during peak hour traffic, the people offering you a $1 that you’re short on for your morning coffee, they are the people you see bent down on the ground on a cold winter day taking time out to speak to a homeless person and they are the people who go out of their way to say hello or offer you a compliment.

 

Once you start looking for it, happiness is everywhere, and it’s just patiently waiting for you to realize that and reach out and grab on to it with absolutely everything you’ve got.

 

Choose happiness.

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality

There is absolutely no way that any amount of preparation could have prepared me for how absolutely insane life is. It’s not even a matter of being educated about things in the world anymore. I wish we had an institution to teach us about the kinds of things I find myself questioning every second of everyday, but unfortunately, we don’t, and the kind of people I need to find to help answer my questions, don’t seem to exist anywhere in the world around me. So here I am, stuck, floating around aimlessly, in a world I don’t understand, surrounded by people I don’t understand, in situations my mind cannot comprehend, so where the fuck am I meant to turn for clarity and guidance?

Sure, I could turn to religion, wouldn’t that be amazing. I could put all my faith into an unseen and unheard entity and believe so wholly in my own faith that it would guide me through the rest of my life, blind to anything other than what I believe myself. No more questions, no more soul searching, no identity crisis, nothing. I just have undying love for my creator, for my saviour, for christ, and with this belief, my life goes on and I feel fulfilled and content that this life is all there is, I don’t need to be a better person, I don’t need to question why bad things happen, I just understand that they do because my god commands it so, and every night I put my weary head to rest with dreams of pearly gates and a life amongst the clouds.

(I am in no way against anyone choosing to live life using religion to help them understand it, if anything, I am envious. Genuinely)

My other options include, lets see, I could be a complete Atheist and just not give a fuck why we are here, or how we exist, everything just happens because it does. People are just people, good or bad, it doesn’t matter. Nothing happens for a reason, and we all just die. There’s no point in bettering yourself or anyone because hey, what’s the point right?

Instead of this though, I’m left questioning, well, absolutely fucking everything. Literally everything. My thoughts go to places words don’t even exist to describe so how the hell am I computing that through my brain? Why does success come easy for some people and for others they only have a life of struggle. Why do we meet some people? What lesson was learnt in that instance. We’re told we control our own lives but nobody believes it enough to put it into use. However, absolute fucking useless human beings like Donald Trump make it to an electoral candidate, and hey Americans, you’re basically looking at your new president.

Now life is hard enough to understand if you’re someone who can’t stop questioning it. Add drugs into that mix and you’re life is basically becoming some ridiculous version of a Hunter S Thompson novel and everything you once thought you knew is a complete lie and in your early 20’s you start reconfiguring your brain to understand this WHOLE NEW life you have spent the last few years absorbing. Then you have a time where you ONLY meet people like you, people who tell you that using drugs as a tool to enhance spirituality is exactly what you should be doing. Look around the world now, see how it’s going to help you ascend quicker. I always thought that the goal was to be a great person in this life and be rewarded with a great life the next time around, except now I realise, that the most terrifying thing is not actually dying, it’s having to come back and relive this world, again, and again in a constant loop. It feels absolutely awful to wake up everyday and not want to be here. Not because you’re suicidal. Your life is amazing, you love everyone around you, you love your family, your friends, your partner, you love watching sunrises and sunsets and trees are so fucking beautiful you could cry whenever you see a street lined with them, but.

It’s never enough. The harsh reality of the world still crashes around you every single day. Every day something else happens that is awful and all the world does is hurt your heart. You try to make small changes to yourself. You focus on sexism, and racism, and homophobia, and wherever you can you try to educate those around you. You turn to going vegetarian or vegan because deep down you know its the right thing to do and you’re met with hostile comments and just plain stupidity that you almost can’t see the point in doing anything good so you may as well go work for a giant company that’s running this world on Capitalism anyway, you may as well be slaughtering the animals and delivering their cut up bodies to supermarkets that exist to fund a world run by a government that does absolutely nothing for the people but spread racism and fear.

The world is so far gone that there is absolutely no quick fix. Realistically the only way I can see myself living in an environment that makes me happy is running away to an eco-farm and living in a commune. HOWEVER I can still 100% admit that at this stage in my life I am still pathetically drawn to this amazing world we do have around us and I’m not ready to admit defeat and let the evils of this world win while I go hide in my own comforts.

The hardest part about anything in life is thinking that you have nobody to relate to, and if even me, who is on the verge of a psychotic breakdown, have people who completely relate to me, and understand my questions about life, then you will have people who understand you to. So don’t stop asking questions, don’t stop fighting for causes you believe in, keep learning, read, watch documentaries, question things you don’t understand because right now we all have so much power to change the world. We don’t have to be victims to our governments nor do we have to be victims to the media.

My brain is in scrambles right now

X

saying that you shouldn’t waste your pretty face like me

she had never felt so uncomfortable in her own world, her surroundings were unfamiliar, new faces, new names, new feelings, nothing was the same. The part that scared her the most was that she could’t pin point an actual memory of when her life felt ‘normal’, her own memories felt like stories people had told her, or she had it memorised from books she had read. It was almost as if the consistent change in her life had caught up to her all at once and hit her right in the middle of the face with no mercy for her feelings. She would speak words she thought were coming from her mind and they would come out with an un-familiar voice, in an un-familiar tone. That terrified her as every conversation happened. People around her would react to certain situations, her reactions always seemed different, she was always the minority. She would be sure she was saying all the right things, acting to the people the universe presented to her, she was following the script.

The universe wasn’t following it’s script though. It couldn’t be, her life was too full of chaos to be on the right path.